University of Kentucky hires Billy Gillispie

The last thing University of Kentucky basketball fans needed after being spurned by Billy Donovan was for their A.D. to hire a coach with a last name they would never be able to spell right on any of the message boards where they will be whining nonstop about being one of the new SEC doormats. The thankless job of head coach now belongs to Billy Gillispie who left the Texas A&M Aggies to coach the Wildcats.

Billy Gillispie was hired as Kentucky's sixth coach in the last 76 years on Friday, a person familiar with the search process told The Associated Press. He'll replace Tubby Smith, who spent a decade under the glare of college basketball's brightest spotlight before bolting to Minnesota two weeks ago.

Good luck Billy! You are going to need it in the Bluegrass state and in the SEC battling Bruce Pearl at Tennessee, Billy Donovan at Florida and John 'fat cheeks' Brady from LSU.

John Brady...the Devil Dancing in the Pale Moonlight

First, let me explain the name. JohnBrady'sFatCheeks is a moniker esteeming Louisiana's resident #1 gentleman, John Brady (top right), men's basketball coach at LSU. Brady has a set of delightfully rotund jowls, giving many fans of rival SEC teams some rather lewd verbal ammunition, if you're picking up what we're laying down. Now, I'm not the type to go there - especially for a human role model such as John Brady. I think Brady's jowls are quite cute, in fact - and apparently so did former stripper-turned-workout-tycoon Misty Champagne, Brady's wife (top left). Brady's cheeks are so cute, that he even recently turned down a cheek-modeling contract from Revlon.

Brady's facial expression (top right) is par for the course. In this case he's most likely inviting an official to a benefit dinner at Brady's house for cancer research. Again, this guy's a humanitarian. The world is a better place because he is here. Hurricane Katrina blazed over the Gulf as a category-5 monster, but Brady intervened just before its New Orleans impact to reduce it to a category-4. Humanitarian....of Biblical proportions.

You should model your life after John Brady. No, really, you should.